My latest book:
Chapter One
Incy-Wincy Spider
I stood on a nettle; it stung the sole of my foot but I didn’t cry. I kept my eyes on Karly. A fly buzzed near her pale face. In her hands was our dead pet. She remained still like a statue. Her face was beautiful. The opposite of Momma’s face. Momma’s face had lines: lines on her forehead, lines on either side of her unhappy lips, lines under her eyes.
I stared into Karly’s eyes. Blue pools full of tears. Pip’s eyes were wide and unblinking. I screwed up my nose. A strong, yucky cabbage smell came off him.
Karly moved toward the broken walkway slab and fell to her knees. My left knee hit a sharp stone when I copied her. The warm pulsing told me it was bleeding under there, but I didn’t say anything. This was not the time to mention the stone or the blood.
“We bury him here. You see?” she said handing me Pip. His coarse hair made my fingers itch and my knee was now burning, like fire. I didn’t move it though. I concentrated on my grip: not too loose, not too tight. “The ground is crumbly here. That’s good, Colin. I can dig down a little. Look,” she continued as she poked her fingers into the soil, throwing stones to the side and wiping away her falling tears with the back of her hand and sniffing every now and again between her words. “We need Pip to go to Heaven – if Momma catches us doing this she’ll put him in the bin then he’ll surely go to Hell. We don’t want that to happen, Colin. Do we?”
“No,” I said glancing down our narrow, overgrown garden. back toward the house. She was in there – somewhere in there.
A dry musty breeze swept over us all. I looked back at Pip – dried blood was over his mouth and whiskers. “Should we wash him first?” I asked Karly.
“We haven’t got time to wash him, Colin. Momma would catch us for sure if we did that.”
“But he won’t be clean for Heaven. They might not let him in.”
Karly stopped digging, took Pip from me and tucked him under her armpit. She spat on her hand. Then wiped it over his face and then repeated it. I leaned back, picked a fat leaf and shoved it under my knee. I wanted to tell Karly about the burning pain but I stayed quiet and watched her again.
“Sometimes Colin you need to make decisions quickly. Just go for it. Make them and stand by your decision, like a soldier. Be brave.”
I knew there and then that I loved my big sister. She solved every problem. Cleared up all my worries. She was a good sister. She looked after Pip good and I knew she would look after my knee later when I tell her about the blood.
“It’s time to say goodbye,” she said, shoving Pip into my face. “You gotta kiss him goodbye.” I moved my head back. I shook my head. I didn’t kiss Karly. I didn’t kiss Momma and I didn’t want to kiss Pip. “You gotta. That’s how you say goodbye, Colin. It’s just the way it is.”
I was five. I wasn’t sure if she spoke the truth or not. I didn’t want it to be true but there was that small chance that it might be, so I screwed up my face, closed my eyes and quickly kissed Pip. Then Karly kissed him. Her red hair swept over his small face. I reached out and flicked it off Pip. It was like a feather. Soft.
“Now we say a prayer. Colin, you say the one you say before you go to sleep.”
“Okay,” I said, ever so glad that I got to say the prayer. I put my hands together and closed my eyes. “Incy Wincy Spider climbing up the spout.”
Karly joined in too. “Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Up came the sunshine that dried up all the rain. Incy Wincy spider climbed up the spout again. Amen.”
She placed Pip into the small hole. I tucked his long tail around his body before looking toward Heaven. “Please God, look after Pip.” We both heaved the soil over his small body. “Please God, look after our rat. Please allow him into Heaven, Amen.”
A screen door slammed on our porch. Something broke inside. We looked toward our house.
“Karly! Colin! Where the fuck are you two?” Momma’s voice growled out from the house. Made its way to our ears.
“We gotta go back in,” whispered Karly and I wasn’t sure if the idea of our rat being refused into Heaven was worse than going back into the house to face Momma.
“I… I don’t want to,” I said as I reached out and took Karly’s hand.
Incy-Wincy Spider
I stood on a nettle; it stung the sole of my foot but I didn’t cry. I kept my eyes on Karly. A fly buzzed near her pale face. In her hands was our dead pet. She remained still like a statue. Her face was beautiful. The opposite of Momma’s face. Momma’s face had lines: lines on her forehead, lines on either side of her unhappy lips, lines under her eyes.
I stared into Karly’s eyes. Blue pools full of tears. Pip’s eyes were wide and unblinking. I screwed up my nose. A strong, yucky cabbage smell came off him.
Karly moved toward the broken walkway slab and fell to her knees. My left knee hit a sharp stone when I copied her. The warm pulsing told me it was bleeding under there, but I didn’t say anything. This was not the time to mention the stone or the blood.
“We bury him here. You see?” she said handing me Pip. His coarse hair made my fingers itch and my knee was now burning, like fire. I didn’t move it though. I concentrated on my grip: not too loose, not too tight. “The ground is crumbly here. That’s good, Colin. I can dig down a little. Look,” she continued as she poked her fingers into the soil, throwing stones to the side and wiping away her falling tears with the back of her hand and sniffing every now and again between her words. “We need Pip to go to Heaven – if Momma catches us doing this she’ll put him in the bin then he’ll surely go to Hell. We don’t want that to happen, Colin. Do we?”
“No,” I said glancing down our narrow, overgrown garden. back toward the house. She was in there – somewhere in there.
A dry musty breeze swept over us all. I looked back at Pip – dried blood was over his mouth and whiskers. “Should we wash him first?” I asked Karly.
“We haven’t got time to wash him, Colin. Momma would catch us for sure if we did that.”
“But he won’t be clean for Heaven. They might not let him in.”
Karly stopped digging, took Pip from me and tucked him under her armpit. She spat on her hand. Then wiped it over his face and then repeated it. I leaned back, picked a fat leaf and shoved it under my knee. I wanted to tell Karly about the burning pain but I stayed quiet and watched her again.
“Sometimes Colin you need to make decisions quickly. Just go for it. Make them and stand by your decision, like a soldier. Be brave.”
I knew there and then that I loved my big sister. She solved every problem. Cleared up all my worries. She was a good sister. She looked after Pip good and I knew she would look after my knee later when I tell her about the blood.
“It’s time to say goodbye,” she said, shoving Pip into my face. “You gotta kiss him goodbye.” I moved my head back. I shook my head. I didn’t kiss Karly. I didn’t kiss Momma and I didn’t want to kiss Pip. “You gotta. That’s how you say goodbye, Colin. It’s just the way it is.”
I was five. I wasn’t sure if she spoke the truth or not. I didn’t want it to be true but there was that small chance that it might be, so I screwed up my face, closed my eyes and quickly kissed Pip. Then Karly kissed him. Her red hair swept over his small face. I reached out and flicked it off Pip. It was like a feather. Soft.
“Now we say a prayer. Colin, you say the one you say before you go to sleep.”
“Okay,” I said, ever so glad that I got to say the prayer. I put my hands together and closed my eyes. “Incy Wincy Spider climbing up the spout.”
Karly joined in too. “Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Up came the sunshine that dried up all the rain. Incy Wincy spider climbed up the spout again. Amen.”
She placed Pip into the small hole. I tucked his long tail around his body before looking toward Heaven. “Please God, look after Pip.” We both heaved the soil over his small body. “Please God, look after our rat. Please allow him into Heaven, Amen.”
A screen door slammed on our porch. Something broke inside. We looked toward our house.
“Karly! Colin! Where the fuck are you two?” Momma’s voice growled out from the house. Made its way to our ears.
“We gotta go back in,” whispered Karly and I wasn’t sure if the idea of our rat being refused into Heaven was worse than going back into the house to face Momma.
“I… I don’t want to,” I said as I reached out and took Karly’s hand.
